Tuesday, February 13, 2007

L'horloge

"Souviens-toi que le temps est un joueur avide
Qui gagne sans tricher
A tout coup
C'est la loi"


Beaudelaire

Last night my phone rang and, somewhat tentatively, a voice reached out from the past. I once adored this man. Three years ago, this call would have filled my heart with delirious happiness.
Stunned, I pretended I was glad to hear from him until I could figure out how I truly felt about it. Later on, it all came back, what I had not thought about in years. I was reminded of him, of shared fits of laughter, of harsh, unforgivable words.
What happened since? Time happened. Two years ago, an unrelated event rocked my world and in the smouldering aftermath, I realized this man did not matter in my life. I don't think he can ever matter again. There's no anger or resentment, only indifference. I'm sorry.

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