Before Vince goes into depression, I must make an amendment to my recent Rest Heart Rate entry. When I did check it, I lied down in bed for ten minutes, in the evening, I relaxed as much as possible and pouf, my HR hovered around 44-46 for a good twenty minutes.
The funny thing is that since then, I have not been able to catch my HR going lower than 55-56. It looks like my "real" RHR is usually around 59ish. I've no idea what conditions it takes for my heart to feel powerful enough to relax into a 44 rate, but apparently, it's the exception rather than the norm. Feel better Vince?
I worked out three hours last night (forgetting to start my watch for the second hour so I'm missing those stats). The first thing that strikes me with all this monitoring is that the Perceived Exhaustion Rate, on which I was relying heavily before, is completely unrelated to my actual heart rate. That tends to tell me that the Perceived Exhaustion Rate ain't worth much as far as accuracy. In some exercises that are not that hard, my heart goes through the roof, and on some exercises when I feel like death, my heart is cruising along calmly. So it appears that this tool will actually be very useful to me to verify the actual intensity and to motivate me to work at higher percentages.
Other than that I'm grumpy, lonely and frustrated, today, on a personal level. One of them days when you're looking for friends and they all happen to be busy. It only reinforces the frustration, but the true source comes from inside of course. Argh.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Quote of The Day
This is the kind of sound, inescapable logic I like.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes.
- Jack Handey
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes.
- Jack Handey
Bla Bla
It's rather amusing. I have not one, not two, but three potential job openings. Actually one is firm, two are still potential. It's all happening at once.
One job is farther, unknown, but with good advancement potential. One job is close to my home, known, no raise, but in an environment I've been aiming to join for a long time. The third one offers a salary increase and is for a boss I know and like. I'm nearly tearing my hair out trying to make the best, wisest choice with the data I have and the one I don't. It is NOT easy. Regardless of my choice, I'll be taking a chance. It's just the type of chance that will differ. Man oh man.
I have the deplorable habit of choosing the work environment and people and the tasks themselves over salary increase or advancement possibilities. I guess I'd rather be happy now than rich later. The downside is that I remain poor now. Ahem.
Do you ever wonder why you're alive and Daniel Pearl isn't? No? Ok. I do. No connection with the first paragraphs whatsoever. Just a thought that goes through my head sometimes.
I proudly showed my new heart rate monitor to my ‘Structor last night. He looked dubious:
“Well… First, you have to have a heart,” he said. And after I answered something ludicrous to a question he asked, he stared at my hair:
“Is that a wig?” he wondered earnestly. Irreverence, it seems, is contagious and I'm glad I finally passed it on!
I’m the first one to tell blonde jokes because I’m quite secure with my IQ but there are always some who manage to be offended. Fi donc!
One year and four days ago, I started this blog, unsure of how it would turn out, unsure of my motives, tentatively. One year and four days later, it’s still going strong, somewhat to my surprise. I’m still enjoying it which is the sole reason it is still up and going. For this second year, here’s my resolution: EDITING, Brig, EDITING. Write shorter, more to the point, more powerfully. Cut the blab bla out. You know? Like today’s bla bla.
- But I enjoy the bla bla!
- If you’re gonna write, Brig, you must aim to write WELL. Take what you want to write and then edit, to cut it about by half.
- (meekly) Yes m’am.
- Good girl.
End of my internal dialogue.
One job is farther, unknown, but with good advancement potential. One job is close to my home, known, no raise, but in an environment I've been aiming to join for a long time. The third one offers a salary increase and is for a boss I know and like. I'm nearly tearing my hair out trying to make the best, wisest choice with the data I have and the one I don't. It is NOT easy. Regardless of my choice, I'll be taking a chance. It's just the type of chance that will differ. Man oh man.
I have the deplorable habit of choosing the work environment and people and the tasks themselves over salary increase or advancement possibilities. I guess I'd rather be happy now than rich later. The downside is that I remain poor now. Ahem.
Do you ever wonder why you're alive and Daniel Pearl isn't? No? Ok. I do. No connection with the first paragraphs whatsoever. Just a thought that goes through my head sometimes.
I proudly showed my new heart rate monitor to my ‘Structor last night. He looked dubious:
“Well… First, you have to have a heart,” he said. And after I answered something ludicrous to a question he asked, he stared at my hair:
“Is that a wig?” he wondered earnestly. Irreverence, it seems, is contagious and I'm glad I finally passed it on!
I’m the first one to tell blonde jokes because I’m quite secure with my IQ but there are always some who manage to be offended. Fi donc!
One year and four days ago, I started this blog, unsure of how it would turn out, unsure of my motives, tentatively. One year and four days later, it’s still going strong, somewhat to my surprise. I’m still enjoying it which is the sole reason it is still up and going. For this second year, here’s my resolution: EDITING, Brig, EDITING. Write shorter, more to the point, more powerfully. Cut the blab bla out. You know? Like today’s bla bla.
- But I enjoy the bla bla!
- If you’re gonna write, Brig, you must aim to write WELL. Take what you want to write and then edit, to cut it about by half.
- (meekly) Yes m’am.
- Good girl.
End of my internal dialogue.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
New Toy
Yesterday was Election Day in Quebec. Good, now that I've covered that, on to more interesting news.
I've a new toy, courtesy of Big Brother. I am well in touch with my masculine side so I like beautiful women and toys, albeit not AS MUCH as men do.
My new toy is a heart rate monitor. I went running thirty minutes last night just to play with it a little. I discovered how difficult it is to raise my heart rate above 90%, even running fast against an extremely strong, icy wind. I also discovered that my rest HR is 44! I thought I was around 60! I must be doing something right.
Now I have to familiarize myself with its use during workouts, and the various HR zones. Jenö wanted me to use the triathletes’ zones, going from 1 to 5 and using the Lactate Tolerance HR but luckily for me, these zones are not part of my monitor's program. I will therefore stick with percentages of my theoretical max HR… I promise I will try very hard not to start to sound like him:
Ran 5 km in 23 at Z4a on the TM but I was really pushing my BMW at MHR, Z2 felt good. HUH?????????
You get the drift. So tonight is first two serious hours using it, including spinning… cool…I should have fun for a while...
I've a new toy, courtesy of Big Brother. I am well in touch with my masculine side so I like beautiful women and toys, albeit not AS MUCH as men do.
My new toy is a heart rate monitor. I went running thirty minutes last night just to play with it a little. I discovered how difficult it is to raise my heart rate above 90%, even running fast against an extremely strong, icy wind. I also discovered that my rest HR is 44! I thought I was around 60! I must be doing something right.
Now I have to familiarize myself with its use during workouts, and the various HR zones. Jenö wanted me to use the triathletes’ zones, going from 1 to 5 and using the Lactate Tolerance HR but luckily for me, these zones are not part of my monitor's program. I will therefore stick with percentages of my theoretical max HR… I promise I will try very hard not to start to sound like him:
Ran 5 km in 23 at Z4a on the TM but I was really pushing my BMW at MHR, Z2 felt good. HUH?????????
You get the drift. So tonight is first two serious hours using it, including spinning… cool…I should have fun for a while...
Monday, March 26, 2007
Hanging
What does one do when one is waiting? I feel suspended in mid-air, powerless to accelerate or decelerate the turn of the wheel. I've already left the fuselage in my mind. I've only a sketchy idea of where I'm going to land and I don't know when it will happen. In the meantime, I'm suspended in a vacuum, in the weightlessness of space. Gravity will resume only when time and destination become clear. Ok, then, this is an exercise. An exercise in floating aimlessly, an exercise in being able to endure the lack of control, lack of direction, lack of power. Things are falling into place outside of my jurisdiction. Until they are revealed to me, I'm floating. So be it. No point in pacing back and forth in the cage of my mind.
Not surprisingly, I feel restless. I’m stuck in an office while all I long for is exhausting myself physically. I feel out of patience with everything, especially the intrinsic absurdities of the Company.
I question, my dear Angel, the point of this blog, where I can say so little about the things that really matter to me.
I question my choices, as outlined by my eternal brother.
To hell with it, let’s eat :)
Not surprisingly, I feel restless. I’m stuck in an office while all I long for is exhausting myself physically. I feel out of patience with everything, especially the intrinsic absurdities of the Company.
I question, my dear Angel, the point of this blog, where I can say so little about the things that really matter to me.
I question my choices, as outlined by my eternal brother.
To hell with it, let’s eat :)
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Feeling Good
First outside run of 2007 under a bright, if not yet very warm, sunshine. I went out intending to stretch my legs for a short thirty minutes but it was so nice outside, it felt so good to run that I ended up doing an hour. I ran towards the mountain in order to add a bit of hills and still felt good enough at the end to finish with a 30 seconds sprint. The sorest part of me were the shoulders actually. Hello tension!
Aaaaaah. Spring is just a-knocking at the door. Loukhi (who's doing fine, Caroline, full shape!) is about to discover the joys of the Great Outside...within the limits of my backyard. The cats are shedding enough hair to fill all the pillows of the house. Brushing time! The two big ones love it, we'll see if the pocket-size takes to it.
Other than that, don't have much to report. Pleasant diner with a girlfriend last night, wine, laughter and heavenly trout.
Back to work tomorrow, with changes expected to be announced presently. Life might be many things, in the upcoming weeks, but boring will probably not be one of them.
I'll keep you informed. Welcome to another Spring everybody!
Aaaaaah. Spring is just a-knocking at the door. Loukhi (who's doing fine, Caroline, full shape!) is about to discover the joys of the Great Outside...within the limits of my backyard. The cats are shedding enough hair to fill all the pillows of the house. Brushing time! The two big ones love it, we'll see if the pocket-size takes to it.
Other than that, don't have much to report. Pleasant diner with a girlfriend last night, wine, laughter and heavenly trout.
Back to work tomorrow, with changes expected to be announced presently. Life might be many things, in the upcoming weeks, but boring will probably not be one of them.
I'll keep you informed. Welcome to another Spring everybody!
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
The Gift
"Imagine," said the woman, "that the Bank offers you 86 400 dollars every morning to spend as you see fit. It's a gift, not a loan. You cannot accumulate it, any amount that is unspent by the end of the day is taken away. But the next morning, you start off the day with a brand new 86 400 dollars. It goes on like this every day, however, it is understood that the Bank can close your account at any time, without any notice."
Take a moment to think: how would you spend the money? Would you feel rich every morning?
"Life," continues the woman, "offers you a gift of 86 400 seconds every morning. How you spend them is up to you. What you waste can never be recovered. But every morning, you start off the day with a brand new 86 400 seconds to spend on living. However Life can and might close your account at any time, without any notice. Isn't one second of life worth more than a dollar?"
The idea is not mine. It comes straight out of Bernard Lévy's "Et si c'était vrai?" Ideally I would have posted the two pages themselves but I'd be breaking 1001 copyrights laws so I'm writing it in my words.
The concept made me stop and think. (First, of course, of the fun I'd have with 86 000 dollars to spend every day. I can confirm, I'd have a lot of fun!) But then, it made me think about the gift of time. A brand new slate every morning with endless possibilities. I thought of the time I waste, of the time I sleep to escape living, of the time I take for granted.
I thought about people who never get to live, about people who die suddenly, about people who receive notice that their account will be closed soon.
I thought long and hard.
Take a moment to think: how would you spend the money? Would you feel rich every morning?
"Life," continues the woman, "offers you a gift of 86 400 seconds every morning. How you spend them is up to you. What you waste can never be recovered. But every morning, you start off the day with a brand new 86 400 seconds to spend on living. However Life can and might close your account at any time, without any notice. Isn't one second of life worth more than a dollar?"
The idea is not mine. It comes straight out of Bernard Lévy's "Et si c'était vrai?" Ideally I would have posted the two pages themselves but I'd be breaking 1001 copyrights laws so I'm writing it in my words.
The concept made me stop and think. (First, of course, of the fun I'd have with 86 000 dollars to spend every day. I can confirm, I'd have a lot of fun!) But then, it made me think about the gift of time. A brand new slate every morning with endless possibilities. I thought of the time I waste, of the time I sleep to escape living, of the time I take for granted.
I thought about people who never get to live, about people who die suddenly, about people who receive notice that their account will be closed soon.
I thought long and hard.
Friday, March 16, 2007
Happy Friday
It's been a busy week. Doing what, I'm not sure, but it felt busy. Packing at the office. Working out. I'm not happy with my workout. I've been averaging 7-9 hours a week, but I believe my body has settled with that amount and is no longer improving. To kick-start it again I have a feeling I'm going to have to increase the hours again. Increasing intensity is not really an option because in classes I don't have much leeway and in spinning I'm already at my max intensity.
I suppose I could go into maintenance mode but why settle for maintenance mode now? Onwards and upwards!
I passed an English exam with a score of 54 out of 55. That was most extremely satisfying. Doesn't mean me write good but at least me felt good.
Now that I've qualified as Pool Person, and therefore will probably receive an assignment soon, I've never had so many possibilities for other assignments. When it rains, it pours, and I have to make a choice between all these options, a fairly blind choice. Man oh man.
On the home front, the pocket-sized cat has already tripled her size since she's arrived. She's now fully in her teenage years. I'm expecting her to start going out late at night, listening to loud music and rebelling against me very soon. She still can't stand to be picked up. I swear next time I'm getting a rag doll cat.
As for Fatso… for all of his size and macho attitude, he's such a baby. Imagine that (I've seen him do it): He goes to my trunk in my bedroom, gets up on two paws, gets a mouthful of one of my sweatshirts and pulls. The sweater seldom goes down by itself. Once the sweater is on the floor, Fatso takes a good mouthful and starts kneading it, purring loudly. He's in Fatso heaven. Go figure. Which is why, about three times a day, I find my neatly folded (or carelessly thrown) sweaters on the floor, threaded upon, sucked upon, and looking for all things like something the cat brought in. On est pas aidé!
On the weekend menu: workout (eh), friends, drinks, sleep. That’s a start!
Later folks!
I suppose I could go into maintenance mode but why settle for maintenance mode now? Onwards and upwards!
I passed an English exam with a score of 54 out of 55. That was most extremely satisfying. Doesn't mean me write good but at least me felt good.
Now that I've qualified as Pool Person, and therefore will probably receive an assignment soon, I've never had so many possibilities for other assignments. When it rains, it pours, and I have to make a choice between all these options, a fairly blind choice. Man oh man.
On the home front, the pocket-sized cat has already tripled her size since she's arrived. She's now fully in her teenage years. I'm expecting her to start going out late at night, listening to loud music and rebelling against me very soon. She still can't stand to be picked up. I swear next time I'm getting a rag doll cat.
As for Fatso… for all of his size and macho attitude, he's such a baby. Imagine that (I've seen him do it): He goes to my trunk in my bedroom, gets up on two paws, gets a mouthful of one of my sweatshirts and pulls. The sweater seldom goes down by itself. Once the sweater is on the floor, Fatso takes a good mouthful and starts kneading it, purring loudly. He's in Fatso heaven. Go figure. Which is why, about three times a day, I find my neatly folded (or carelessly thrown) sweaters on the floor, threaded upon, sucked upon, and looking for all things like something the cat brought in. On est pas aidé!
On the weekend menu: workout (eh), friends, drinks, sleep. That’s a start!
Later folks!
Monday, March 12, 2007
Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch- Changes
How can you be getting older when you still feel like a teenager? TLM called me on my cell today and for the following hour I walked around with this huge, ecstatic and idiotic grin plastered on my face. A sad case, I am.
Yet the weekend had been difficult. A health scare for my mother. A grim reminder that she will not be eternal. The impact and consequences of her disappearance, for Yannick and myself, would be tremendous if it should happen soon. I dread it more than anything.
It was a stark weekend with words like Emergency room, observation, tests, cancer screening. When I saw my boss this morning, she asked me: "So, what happened Thursday?" And I looked at her blankly and last Thursday had been pushed so far away in my mind that I had absolutely no clue what she was talking about. I even forgot to tell her about becoming a Pool Person until she asked me about it.
We don't have any results yet, so, one day at a time.
At work, we're moving Friday into another building and today, I was enormously productive. I packed boxes, I went through all my files and half of my ex-bosse's and boy, did I throw away some paper. Boxes of it. It's very liberating to throw away. I like it. I'm pretty good at it. You wouldn't think so if you saw my house but really, when I do a blitz, I do one heck of a blitz.
Turn and face the strain
Ch-Ch-Changes
Yet the weekend had been difficult. A health scare for my mother. A grim reminder that she will not be eternal. The impact and consequences of her disappearance, for Yannick and myself, would be tremendous if it should happen soon. I dread it more than anything.
It was a stark weekend with words like Emergency room, observation, tests, cancer screening. When I saw my boss this morning, she asked me: "So, what happened Thursday?" And I looked at her blankly and last Thursday had been pushed so far away in my mind that I had absolutely no clue what she was talking about. I even forgot to tell her about becoming a Pool Person until she asked me about it.
We don't have any results yet, so, one day at a time.
At work, we're moving Friday into another building and today, I was enormously productive. I packed boxes, I went through all my files and half of my ex-bosse's and boy, did I throw away some paper. Boxes of it. It's very liberating to throw away. I like it. I'm pretty good at it. You wouldn't think so if you saw my house but really, when I do a blitz, I do one heck of a blitz.
Turn and face the strain
Ch-Ch-Changes
Friday, March 09, 2007
Thursday, March 08, 2007
In Sickness And In Health
Last night, my son went for a sleep over at his best friend's. It is shameful how I enjoyed the calm, peace and quiet of the house, the feeling of freedom.
However, I pushed my reflection further and I realized that for all the time, worry and responsibility that my son represents, he plays the role of a guardian angel for me, because he is mon garde-fou. Having to take care of him means I must take care of myself, something I might otherwise approach differently.
In the meantime, my heart is sick. I tucked it in bed, shoved a thermometer down the aorta, and tied a woollen scarf around the ventricles. But it has to follow me around, so I wrapped it in bulky gauze and tied it on a sling around my neck to go to work. It's like the Fisher King, bleeding from a wound that won't heal. It's draining to be sad. Physiology is very strange, your heart hurts and it's actually a pain in the butt. Perhaps the heart is not located where we always thought it was.
Well, I still have to go to work and it still has to go on beating. To each their job. The wound has been there for ten months now, I'm about to throw a birthday party for it. That should help: candles, confetti, pointed hats, the whole nine yard.
Do you think I'm teetering on the edge of the absurd recently? You're right! I've been coherent far too long. There are limits any self-respecting free spirit must abide by.
However, I pushed my reflection further and I realized that for all the time, worry and responsibility that my son represents, he plays the role of a guardian angel for me, because he is mon garde-fou. Having to take care of him means I must take care of myself, something I might otherwise approach differently.
In the meantime, my heart is sick. I tucked it in bed, shoved a thermometer down the aorta, and tied a woollen scarf around the ventricles. But it has to follow me around, so I wrapped it in bulky gauze and tied it on a sling around my neck to go to work. It's like the Fisher King, bleeding from a wound that won't heal. It's draining to be sad. Physiology is very strange, your heart hurts and it's actually a pain in the butt. Perhaps the heart is not located where we always thought it was.
Well, I still have to go to work and it still has to go on beating. To each their job. The wound has been there for ten months now, I'm about to throw a birthday party for it. That should help: candles, confetti, pointed hats, the whole nine yard.
Do you think I'm teetering on the edge of the absurd recently? You're right! I've been coherent far too long. There are limits any self-respecting free spirit must abide by.
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Pool People
The results of the competition are in and yours truly has qualified on a pool. We're not talking swimming here. We're not even talking about a wet pool. I probably would have done much better in a wet pool.
The consequences of my being in that pool, even if I remain dry, could lead to significant changes in my daily work. Pool People will be chosen, randomly or not so randomly, to fill positions in several locations. The positions might be crawl, butterfly or back. Just kidding.
It is therefore a distinct possibility that within two months, my daily grind might lead me to another hunting ground. Am I proud, thrilled and elated? Absolutely not. Perhaps it will come later. I have yet to announce at large that I am now a PP (Pool Person). Swimsuit optional.
The most significant changes that come to mind, as a Pool Person:
- I'll have to take the subway following my train ride. I HATE the subway.
- I'll loose physical proximity to 3 best friends. Then again, Jenö will be taking off to take care of miniature Jenös, and the others are looking for change also. Only change is constant.
- my daily chores will be drastically different. I'll deal with the public. I bet that will give me material for this blog.
- I'll no longer have a window into SYWRD's mind, emails, and sense of humour. That's a small but nonetheless significant loss.
On the up side of Pool People
- I'll get to meet new people and make new friends.
- I will experience something totally different.
There are other positive aspects but I try to keep my job vague on here, so I won't go into them.
So that's it. No lanes, but some slower swimmers. No chlorine but a draft of humanity. The ever changing, ever shifting shape and face of reality. Bathing caps are not allowed.
The consequences of my being in that pool, even if I remain dry, could lead to significant changes in my daily work. Pool People will be chosen, randomly or not so randomly, to fill positions in several locations. The positions might be crawl, butterfly or back. Just kidding.
It is therefore a distinct possibility that within two months, my daily grind might lead me to another hunting ground. Am I proud, thrilled and elated? Absolutely not. Perhaps it will come later. I have yet to announce at large that I am now a PP (Pool Person). Swimsuit optional.
The most significant changes that come to mind, as a Pool Person:
- I'll have to take the subway following my train ride. I HATE the subway.
- I'll loose physical proximity to 3 best friends. Then again, Jenö will be taking off to take care of miniature Jenös, and the others are looking for change also. Only change is constant.
- my daily chores will be drastically different. I'll deal with the public. I bet that will give me material for this blog.
- I'll no longer have a window into SYWRD's mind, emails, and sense of humour. That's a small but nonetheless significant loss.
On the up side of Pool People
- I'll get to meet new people and make new friends.
- I will experience something totally different.
There are other positive aspects but I try to keep my job vague on here, so I won't go into them.
So that's it. No lanes, but some slower swimmers. No chlorine but a draft of humanity. The ever changing, ever shifting shape and face of reality. Bathing caps are not allowed.
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Years Ago
After supper, we packed our gear on the trucks to go have a little fun: a short night dive. The lake was very dark, barely lighted by a half-moon. There's absolutely nothing to see in a lake on a dark night. But we were an adventurous bunch, who liked to do different things. It was our form of entertainment. There were four of us, three dive-masters and me. I teamed up with my friend Daniel.
We suited up quietly, by the silent, empty lake. We entered the water. Everything was black except for what stood in the narrow beams of our flashlights. I could feel the cold of the water against my dry suit. The sound of our breathing seemed more ominous than in the day time. The darkness and the absence of visual references were such that it was easy to become disoriented and lose track of which way was up and which way was down. We swam down to about thirty-five feet and without needing to consult each other, for we teamed up often, Dan and I settled on our knees on the bottom…and turned our lights off.
Thirty-five feet of cold water pressing down on our heads…all the moonlight allows me to see is the vague, monstrous black shape of Dan beside me…the characteristic sound of underwater breathing: suck-in, bubbles… the cold…absolute darkness all around…
"How many people have had this experience, “ I wondered with a thrill, "this off-the-wall, pointless experience of sitting underwater, at 9 pm, in a lake, in the dark? How far is it from anything we're familiar with? Who knows where I am at this very minute?"
It's the same thrill I had when I went skydiving and I was hanging by my hands outside of the plane onto the transversal shaft of the wing, the rest of my body flapping in the wind, milliseconds before letting go…
It's all about experience. I really enjoy doing things that are out of the ordinary. Which is obviously why I'm sitting here, in front of a computer…AHEM…
Good times...
We suited up quietly, by the silent, empty lake. We entered the water. Everything was black except for what stood in the narrow beams of our flashlights. I could feel the cold of the water against my dry suit. The sound of our breathing seemed more ominous than in the day time. The darkness and the absence of visual references were such that it was easy to become disoriented and lose track of which way was up and which way was down. We swam down to about thirty-five feet and without needing to consult each other, for we teamed up often, Dan and I settled on our knees on the bottom…and turned our lights off.
Thirty-five feet of cold water pressing down on our heads…all the moonlight allows me to see is the vague, monstrous black shape of Dan beside me…the characteristic sound of underwater breathing: suck-in, bubbles… the cold…absolute darkness all around…
"How many people have had this experience, “ I wondered with a thrill, "this off-the-wall, pointless experience of sitting underwater, at 9 pm, in a lake, in the dark? How far is it from anything we're familiar with? Who knows where I am at this very minute?"
It's the same thrill I had when I went skydiving and I was hanging by my hands outside of the plane onto the transversal shaft of the wing, the rest of my body flapping in the wind, milliseconds before letting go…
It's all about experience. I really enjoy doing things that are out of the ordinary. Which is obviously why I'm sitting here, in front of a computer…AHEM…
Good times...
Sunday, March 04, 2007
To M...
"You play so cool, and calm, and in charge," my husband used to say, "but inside you have this big, softie heart."
Well, my big, softie heart is sad tonight. I received an email from a friend announcing his mother's passing away. And behind the formal words, I could feel such pain... My friend is well surrounded and supported, he has a wife and a daughter. Yet, there's something about a man in pain, a man crying, that brings out something in me... It's something beyond motherly instincts and beyond tenderness, it's the eternal cliché. Le repos du guerrier. Lay your head on my breast, and let me stroke away all your pains and sorrows...
Perhaps it is what we women are really born for...
Peace to you, M, and in my heart, I'm holding you like your mother used to, when you were still a little boy...
Well, my big, softie heart is sad tonight. I received an email from a friend announcing his mother's passing away. And behind the formal words, I could feel such pain... My friend is well surrounded and supported, he has a wife and a daughter. Yet, there's something about a man in pain, a man crying, that brings out something in me... It's something beyond motherly instincts and beyond tenderness, it's the eternal cliché. Le repos du guerrier. Lay your head on my breast, and let me stroke away all your pains and sorrows...
Perhaps it is what we women are really born for...
Peace to you, M, and in my heart, I'm holding you like your mother used to, when you were still a little boy...
Saturday, March 03, 2007
Haunted
Twenty-four hours after the storm and there is hardly any snow left on the roads, the driveways or the roofs. The snow banks are still so high, however, that you must make your stops half-way through the intersections in order to see anything incoming.
Last night, I'm rather embarrassed to say, I woke my son with my screams again...THREE times. At least it no longer spooks him. I'm going to have to do something with my mind to make sure that stops. Nightmares are all very well when contained but I can't have the whole household up in arms every time.
When Yann got up at seven, I felt him lifting my covers slightly. I opened my eyes: he was slipping one of his stuffed teddies beside me. "It will help you with the nightmares," he whispered. How sweet is that? I pressed the white teddy bear against me and went back to sleep.
Good class this morning, fun, enjoyable. Rather wiped the rest of the day.
R.A.S.
Hope the ghosts leave me alone tonight.
Last night, I'm rather embarrassed to say, I woke my son with my screams again...THREE times. At least it no longer spooks him. I'm going to have to do something with my mind to make sure that stops. Nightmares are all very well when contained but I can't have the whole household up in arms every time.
When Yann got up at seven, I felt him lifting my covers slightly. I opened my eyes: he was slipping one of his stuffed teddies beside me. "It will help you with the nightmares," he whispered. How sweet is that? I pressed the white teddy bear against me and went back to sleep.
Good class this morning, fun, enjoyable. Rather wiped the rest of the day.
R.A.S.
Hope the ghosts leave me alone tonight.
Friday, March 02, 2007
Don't Stop the Snowing Carnival
I was so excited today when I was sent home early because of the snow storm. I felt like a little kid.
HOURS of shoveling snow later, this is what I look like:
The snow banks on each side of my driveway are now taller than I am. That's 5'10". Next time the snowplough comes through on the street, kindly shoveling half a ton of snow in our entrance, I've no idea where we're going to put it.
So Jenö is doing an Ironman? Pffft! So what? I JUST CLEARED MY WHOLE DRIVEWAY..............................FOUR TIMES !!
So I'm going to the gym, for a STRETCHING class. Afterwards, I'm going to find out if they have a sauna, something I've never bothered checking before.
It's still snowing but I'm throwing the shovel. (Get it?)
HOURS of shoveling snow later, this is what I look like:
The snow banks on each side of my driveway are now taller than I am. That's 5'10". Next time the snowplough comes through on the street, kindly shoveling half a ton of snow in our entrance, I've no idea where we're going to put it.
So Jenö is doing an Ironman? Pffft! So what? I JUST CLEARED MY WHOLE DRIVEWAY..............................FOUR TIMES !!
So I'm going to the gym, for a STRETCHING class. Afterwards, I'm going to find out if they have a sauna, something I've never bothered checking before.
It's still snowing but I'm throwing the shovel. (Get it?)
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