Some Kind of Wonderful

Let's talk about my favourite subject: me.

I have this opinion, shared by an incredible amount of people that I am just…well, wonderful. Now some people will think I am tongue in cheek when I say that, and I simply don't see how they can think that way, but that's another question altogether.

So when I stop and think adoringly about myself, there's one characteristic among my many wonderful qualities that never ceases to amaze even me: This capacity, gift, talent I have for always finding new mistakes to make. I mean, who knew I had this incredible creative potential in me? Who suspected that no matter how many I make, how old I get, I always find new ones to add to my repertoire? And the most beautiful part of it is: don't think I spend a lot of time and energy thinking them out! They come up effortlessly, spontaneously, from, I suppose, the same well of creativity that inspired Picasso.

Picasso, of course, merely painted. I…make mistakes. I commit errors. I put my foot in it. I go wrong. I err. I fuck up. And just when I think: "That's it, I've reached my summum, I cannot possibly find new or better ones” …I do.

So next time we meet, show a little respect knowing that before you stands someone who masters at least one domain. But don't bow or kiss my hand in public. I'm so modest that I'm always embarrassed by displays of the respect and admiration I deserve.

On another subject, a friend of mine told me the origin of the word f***. It's actually interesting enough to share with you. Some time back, when cops arrested whores or their clients, the arrest was written down "For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge". So f*** is a rather crude word in our language, but how delightful is Unlawful Carnal Knowledge?

"Would you have Unlawful Carnal Knowledge with me?"
"Let's explore our Unlawful Carnal Knowledge?"
I should use it sometime just to see the reaction I get.