"Bridge, you sound sadder and sadder these days", said Angel. "What's going on?"
So I stopped and thought. Am I so sad? Perhaps. There are several sources.
This girlfriend of mine (we never met but a friend nevertheless) lost her baby in her 28th week of pregnancy. This little girl not destined to live was called Gabrielle. I've no fortitude as far as babies are concerned. It makes me very sad.
This co-worker, whose cubicle is ten feet from mine, was taken to the hospital last week. She will not be back. She's dying. It freaks me out.
My friends are not there for me as much as I'd need them to be. It tugs at my heart.
So yes, there's plenty of sadness in my life right now. But I will not shun it, repress it, ignore it or deny it. I will neither push it away nor hold onto it. I will acknowledge it and wait for it to float away in its own good time. All emotions do, eventually.
La fête triste prend parfois des airs plus joyeux quand on regarde les choses en face et que l'on se remémore toutes les bonnes et belles choses qui nous entourent. Plus facile à dire qu'à faire, granted. I know, I'm in that space today. Difficile de voir rose quand le ciel est gris.
ReplyDeleteThank you for being there. I know I've said this already, but you rock. You really do.
Bises,
C.
Hope this helps a little: we CAN'T control the events in our lives nor the sadness they can yield. But we CAN control what they ultimately mean to us. Moi personellement je pense. :-)
ReplyDeleteErrr..ok, sounds interesting but could you, like, explain? Or rather, give me an example based on my events?
ReplyDeleteGrazie. Je comprends vite mais faut m'expliquer longtemps.
Ok, it's something like this. She's dying. Can't control that. It is terrible, yes. But what do I do with this fact?
ReplyDeleteI can choose to be sad and feel horrible, because death is horrible if we so choose, which won't help her a bit in her last days, and will be quite taxing on myself too.
Or I can choose to be happy to be alive myself and remember how fragile life is and how much I should cherish it for me and loved ones. I can choose to learn lessons from it, maybe. Or turn the event into a test. I can choose to go visit her and do so not with sadness but compassion and presence. And these are just generic examples of course.
What I meant to say is that while events are set in stone and out of our control, their meaning to us is something that constantly changes and which we can craft any way we want. Awareness is the key. You either let them carry an automatic meaning brought on by society, previous experiences, etc. or you take control and try and shape them for the best...
Yeah, I know, easier said than done. But it works. :-)
Ouep...Easier said than done.. Quand on est triste, on est pas toujours aussi fort, pas toujours aussi conscient de la distance qu'il faut prendre par rapport aux choses. And this is when it gets tricky...
ReplyDeleteI've got a friend who always says: 'Ce qui importe c'est pas les choses qui t'arrivent, c'est comment tu les vis. Tout dépend de la manière dont tu les envisages'...Elle veut sans doute dire que face au même évènement, tu peux réagir de manière différente.Du coup, elle rejoint Vince dans ses paroles, un peu.
Moi, ce que je voulais dire, c'est TU AS LE DROIT D'ETRE TRISTE!! Tout comme on a le droit de le dire. Pourquoi toujours faire ceux qui vont bien, qui sont jeunes, gais, beaux et souriants??!!Non, mais, ça va la dictature du 'Je vais bien, tout va bien. Je suis gai, tout me plait'!!:-)
Thanks guys
ReplyDeleteMeuh non, z'avez rien compris. J'dis pas qu'il ne faut pas etre tri-xme, ni qu'il faut prendre de la distance par rapport a tout ca. Ce que j'dis, c'est que c'est une question de perception et que le cerveau humain est la machine la plus perfectionnee de l'univers, alors c'est un peu fou de dire qu'on n'a pas de controle...
ReplyDeleteJe crois que ca vaut la peine de prendre des ris-xmes, vivre sa tristesse a fond et puis la laisser aller. Ca dure pas, c'est puissant, ca defoule, et puis ca passe.