A Splendid Display

It’s strange how many tragic stories I have to tell. And I still have quite a few in store.

So for a change, I’m going to tell a funny one: my most embarrassing moment. It’s er…not for children. Well, they wouldn’t get it anyway.

1995: I was taking my Emergency Medical Technician course and it just so happened that my classmates were all young firefighters from the area, for whom the class was mandatory training. I was one of only two girls in the class. I know, it’s hard but I just handled it as best I could. Read I was best pal with the firefighters within the second week of that six months course.

We were in a lab, waiting for the instructor to arrive. I was sitting backwards on a chair, surrounded by my blue-uniformed buddies. I must have complained about my neck hurting (no, I swear, it hurts chronically) because one of the guys kindly started to massage my shoulders. I was feeling a little self-conscious but bahhh…

“You have a tight spot there,” he said talking about an area that was very sore.

And I, so spontaneously (hey, English is my SECOND language!), exclaimed:

“Oh, I have so many tight spots you wouldn’t believe!”

A certain quality in the silence that followed alerted me to something. I looked up and the guys’ jaws were literally on the floor. Then it hit me. Then I thought longingly of spontaneous self combustion. Of a quick and permanent death.

You have to give it to me: it was really a great thing to say for a girl surrounded by young, healthy men…So I quickly went on babbling with the first thing that I could think of, and don’t ask me what it was because I was too much in shock to remember.

When I think of the level of embarrassment it caused me, I think that’s one of the best gaffes of my career. I think female readers will be able to relate. Hey, if you can’t laugh at yourself…