Epiphany

On Sunday, I visited with extended family and was struck by a visceral discovery : you can’t turn back the clock.

Life moves on, people change and it’s the natural Order of Things.

 

Then last night, on the birthday of my childhood neighbor, I had a sort of epiphany: I finally realized, understood, FELT that the past can never come back. I think a part of me had always been longing to go back to the Antibes days. I vaguely thought: “If I go back to Antibes, my family with me, we could pick up where we left off…”

For the first time, I realized it cannot happen. It’s where we were, at that time, at that age, with those people. Some of the people live on but they are no longer the same. Antibes itself has moved on. My childhood can never be recreated or revisited.

But what I can do is love it, love the people in it, and be intensely grateful for the privilege of having lived it: Antibes in the 70’s, family life, my beloved school, playing with my brother, the beauty all around us. Creating memories to be cherished for a lifetime.

 

I thought Time didn’t really exist. But Something flows, and it flows in one direction only.

I feel like I’ve grown up. I have finally accepted that there is no going back. But once, it was real. I lived IT, I shared IT and it’s in my heart forever.

 

Antibes. As I knew it.             (Photo Credit: Lesley Stern)