The Online Dating Site Experiment - Conclusion

10 days into my month-long subscription, things have slowed down to a stand-still. After the feeding frenzy created by my new profile and the scent of fresh blood, there is now zero activity with my account. I’ve dropped a few guys I had started a dialogue with, for lack of interest, I’ve been dropped by a few prospects I had a dialogue with. So nothing. No activity either way. I pretty much expect this will be the state of things until the end of my subscription.
 

Conclusions on  my experience?

Subscribing with a specific goal (friends, lover, boyfriend/girlfriend) is probably best if you want to achieve something. I signed on with nothing particular in mind, and nothing particular is what I ended up with.

The feeding frenzy is intense but very short lived.
The interest you arouse from the male sex on the site is neither representative nor proportional to the interest you arouse in every day life.
This way of connecting with new people does not work for me any better than on prior experiences, even though I myself, have changed.

And this, folks, or I should say, my 2 readers, concludes my online dating site experiment!

On the Dating Site

I've been deleting a lot of messages but suddenly today I lost it and actually answered Happy23.
Happy23 sent me a pre-written message wanting to start a conversation with me.
Happy23 has no photo. It says he's 43 and lives in Montreal. His profile is so average you could apply it to half the population.

How can people have so little imagination that they don't even stop and wonder WHY I could possibly have the motivation to start a conversation with a faceless, average, total stranger?????? Do they know the number of messages a girl receives???
Are they so full of themselves that they think their wonderful personality is actually going to shine through 2 lines and no photo, amongst dozen of others?

I gave Happy23 a piece of my mind, probably more than he bargained for. He was a scapegoat really, since I deleted dozens before him without reacting. I suspect I was not very kind, because I'm a little afraid to go back and see his answer. Losing your temper doesn't make for constructive communication.

Oh well. Let's say I gave him a free reality-check.

The next day:
Happy23 answered me. My scolding went completely over his head. He didn't feel the sting at all. I had to go and read my message again. No mistake: it was biting. Well, Happy23 (the name seems to fit) loves my photo and hopes we will go on exchanging. Sigh. Why do I bother?

On the Dating Site... Continued

Not much activity today. I can start drawing some conclusions.

1)      The French Canadian man is allergic to women taking the first step.

Not ONE of the messages I sent as the initiator got a reply. The French Canadian must hunt his woman. How. No hunt, no Good. How. (Sending a message out of the blue… so… forward! She must be desperate. Not a good catch.)

2)      Boyfriends are hard to find, really. But if I ever run out of lovers, it will be my own fault, because they are out there, and they are willing!!! I’ve got more volunteers than I can shake a stick at. (shake a stick…hmmm… an early form of magic wand? I digress)

I now have 600 men who have seen my picture. It makes me paranoid. I go to public places and I think: “Oh my god, why is THIS guy looking at me?  what if he recognizes me from RC!?”. It should happen any minute now. After all, the Province must not have much more than about 800 men total. 600 of them checked me out. Heh.

 

To be continued.

One Month on a Dating Site

On the spur of the moment, I signed up for one month on the well-known dating site referred to as RC. It’s about the third time in 15 years that I try online dating. I’m going to have fun reporting my experience.

My photo: I got lucky. I thought only fair to put a recent one and it turned out well. Should I meet anybody, they won’t be able to complain I don’t look like my photograph. I was fresh out of the shower, no make-up. What you see is what you get.

It never fails: the first man to reach out to me is educated, funny, bilingual and writes well. My kind of guy. Our written exchange is fun and we’re ready for the next step. This is where it never fails: I find out he is of Arab origin. It’s funny because it happened every time. The one I connect the best with turns out to be Arab (whether religious or not, it does not matter). And for personal reasons (and not mere prejudice) Arabs are an absolute NO-NO for me. So with a sigh, I turn down this cool guy. Thank you but no thank you. Not negotiable.

Another profile knocks on my door. I check him out. Some say that the only thing people look at on dating sites are the pictures. They are absolutely right. That’s what I do anyhow. If I like your picture, I will read your profile. If I don’t like your picture, your profile will seldom make me change my mind. If you don’t have a picture, you’re not even in the game.

There are a few I check out and the pictures leave me dubious but the profile is good enough i.e. well-written, not cliché, articulate and claiming an open mind. Then you write to them, and they can’t spell 2 words in a row and have nothing to say. Obviously, they had help with writing the profile… sigh.

Anyway, so here is K knocking on my door. Pics and profile? Acceptable. Culture and sense of humor? Check. Fit? Check. We exchange about 4 emails. It’s looking interesting. He offers to call me. I counter offer to call him. “No you can’t call me, I call you. If you don’t trust me then that’s that.” I almost laughed out loud. Trust you????? Based on WHAT? 4 emails and a picture of your roller skates? That’s hilarious.

I realized I was getting a Mr. Grey vibe: quality package but entitled, impatient and controlling. Well, I wouldn’t take a Mr. Grey if he was offered to me on a plate. So off K goes. But I keep chuckling every time I think about his “if you don’t trust me, forget it”.

So what else do we have… A young Frenchman clearly out for sex. I’ll pass. A youngster (10 years younger) that shows potential. Another divorced man shows potential but has not written back in a few days. The ice-breakers I sent reaped nothing so far. I get plenty of messages, but either no photo or the photo is a clear NO. The site tells me my profile has been seen by 490 people so far. Wow. That’s a lot of guys!

I’ve signed on 3 days ago. Let’s see what develops, if anything, today… to be continued.